BALTIMORE, MD 7/10/05

aside from john waters, what do you know about baltimore? turns out
there isn't that much more to know about the place.

8-bit arrived to the club and shawn phase was there. the guy is a one
man show that plays guitar to nintendo tracks while sporting a power
glove and wearing a helmet. he was fucking rad and there were a few
people that went to see him play. we drank pabst and hung out talking
and waiting for the mormons to arrive with the gear. the bar was
really weird and wanted to close at 9pm and there was no sign of the
mormons who got lost on the way to maryland.

Shawn Phaze @ The Mojo Room & Lounge, originally uploaded by shitface1000.

we stalled as long as possible but they got fed up with us and told us
that if 8-bit didnt play right away they were going to close the bar.
what the fuck?? who closes a bar at 9pm. i could maybe see opening a
bar at 9pm, but closing it??? fuck it, we were there so we may as well
play. we had to do something we've never done before.. perform as a
disgusting human version of 8-bit!!

The robots in human form., originally uploaded by shitface1000.

there were a few people there that came to see the robots so they said
fuck it and played. anti-log had frequency hang over so he played in
his underwear. the human-bots played and in the middle of one of the
first songs, a guy pants anti-log. what can you do, right? anti-log
spit at him but missed. the salivary glob snuck just between the guy
and his girlfriends faces.

now, if you wanna be part of the show, make sure you want to be part of
the show... anti-log spent the entire set making fun of the guy during
his verses and threw lots of references to his whore girlfriend. the
entire song 'suck my dick' was sung directly to the girlfriend and the
boyfriend was squirming. it was fucking funny and the guy was really
bummed.

the show ended and anti-log went up to him and asked if had anything to
say. the guy said, 'that was a fucking great show. you guys are
awesome!!!' he then hugged anti-log. 8-bit exists in this weird
alternate universe where you can call a guys girlfriend a 'disease
riddled whore' for thirty minutes and have the guy give thanks and
affections. what the fuck???

shawn phase had to take off and the mormons still hadn't arrived so the
half-bots hung out on the sidewalk talking to some fucking great
people. we met justin, chris, rebecca, and her boyfriend who is
awesome but im too drunk to remember his name. we also talked to the
bar tender who was really cool and is interested in doing an 8-bit
remix. we hung out and we were loaded but not loaded enough for out
likings. the mormons showed up at the club about an hour after they
were closed and we loaded some stuff into the 8-bit van and separated.
there was a stupid argument and we needed a day off from each other so
we separated for a day.

Chillin @ The Mojo Room & Lounge, originally uploaded by shitface1000.

the 8-bitches kidnapped josh and we headed out with our baltimore
homies to go to a bar that they frequent. we got a little lost and had
to take a piss break but we got to the club and it was fucking great!!
half of it was a bar and half of it was a liquor store. we ordered
shots and beers and proceeded to get tore the fuck up.

8-bit decided to say fuck it and play a parking lot show for the few
people that were at the bar. we tossed an instrumental cd into the van
cd player and just went for it in the parking lot. a cop from inside
the bar came out and shut us down. fuck it. we started launching off
bottle rockets in the parking lot. the cop asked for one but seemed
like he had no concept of their function. he was a big ass guy and he
held one in his hand. instead of holding on loosely to let if fly out
his hand, he squeezed the shit out of it and it was burning the shit
out of his hand. he looked down to witness up close where the pain was
coming from and it blew up right in his face. it was so fucking
funny...

we went back in the bar and had good conversation telling of old war
stories of past alcoholic tragedies. the drinking continued on and on
and then things started getting weird.....

some guy that had to be in his mid 50's was dancing on a table and
taking his clothes off.

What the fuck?, originally uploaded by shitface1000.

we went to the back area to see what was going on and it was a weird
series of people rallying each other to take their clothes off. it
broke out into this weird group of people, a redneck bartender, a group
of lesbian girls, an old lady, and some indian (the tee-pee kind). it
was weird drinking and nakedness. one girl, who will remain nameless
(though if you have any deductive reasoning could easily figure out)
took her top off complete with bra for $5!! it was awesome though we
were too shy to take pictures...

we finished out drinks and anti-log puked in the urinal while pissing.
we headed over to rebeccas house and she offered to cook everyone food.
rebecca rules!!! it doesnt get nicer than that... so we headed over
to her house and spacey-k passed out in the van. anti-log made it to
the house (somehow with a stolen nextel phone in his hand) and passed
out on the floor in the front room. josh, bodie, robo-t and le-frost
hung out and enjoyed great company and great food. rebecca even
offered to let the robots crash but they had a long ass drive to get to
columbus ohio. there were hugs and appreciations all around. again, a
small pocket of people made a perfectly forgettable show turn into a
super fun night of traveling. its crazy how we have found a way to
sift through entire cities and find the coolest motherfuckers that live
there. i swear its the buddha bracelet thats keeping us safe and
helping us to find incredible people.

we hit the road for a long ass drive....