NEW ORLEANS, LA 7/14/05
we drove through the night heading to new orleans. it
was a pretty long and shitty drive but we arrived at
around 9am. we called up an old and dear friend tina
(look back to the indiana/dayton info. it was her
moms house, cookie, that we were swimming at) we got
to her place and people settled on her friends floor
because her power was out.
the suits were smelling rancid so we headed out to the
laundry mat to try to wash out some of the nutsack
sweat. we didnt have a show scheduled for new orleans
so we bought a shitload of food to have a big restful
bbq. there were three pools and we took advantage of
two of them.
tina's power came back on and we all migrated back to
her place. somehow vic, our friend that is helping us
with merch and things, got hold of a voodoo priest in
new orleans that he knew. the voodoo guy mentioned a
few good clubs in new orleans and vic got cracking on
making calls.
sure enough, the hi-ho lounge said we could play. we
were glad but also kind of bummed cause we could have
used a day off. oh well, we are on tour afterall and
the point is getting your ass in front of people that
wouldn't normally know about what you do. we
marinated the chicken and threw it in the fridge. the
crew of tired bastards headed to the other side of
town and rolled into the hi-ho.
we got there and there wasnt really anyone there. we
asked what the deal was and it turned out that GWAR
was in town and people in new orleans are really into
them. hell, i remember seeing GWAR as a kid on
halloween in chicago, i saw them again for the hell of
it when we were visiting chicago. it did seem weird
though that the city was pretty cleared out because of
GWAR...
8-bit played first and back stage they met some crazy
folks from west virginia that were in the band slated
to play immediately afterward. 8-bit played and the
show wasnt so fun but the sound guy was really nice
and we weaseled a couple of free beers a piece. there
were few people there but they were pretty fun anyway.
the set was done and 8-bit cleared the stage.
cryptorchid chipmunk (which is a chipmunk with one
testicle) came on next. i'll leave this to joey to
describe cause i will spend 5 pages writing about
them. completely out of control.... (joey's entry below)
the mormons played last and finished out the night on
a positive note. the sound guy was having a great
time watching them and was really upbeat and positive
about everything. the few people in the crowd were
appreciative and nice. its a shame there wasn't more
people there but what can you do when you get a last
minute show?? all you can do is make the best of it
and the mormons did just that.
we all headed back to tinas and had a really late
night BBQ of chicken, hamburgers, hot links, and corn
on the cob. we made a couple of sides in tinas
kitchen and had a big old feast...
there was an after dinner parking lot smoke out and
wound down from a long stretch of driving and a
breakneck tour schedule. people made late night phone
calls to friends and loved ones before calling it a
night and crashing.
we all really wanted to go to the french quarter to
show the mormons around and get fucked up but we were
just too damn tired. when all is said and done we
will average a show a day covering over 10,000 miles.
you just dont have time to do all the touristy shit
you wanna do...
we crashed out and were ready for the first of 4 shows
total in texas. californias dreaded texas..
Joey wrote:
It rained more than I have ever seen. New Orleans was suffering the wrath of some hurricane’s outer rim. It’s a night off for us. I hate nights off. I like to keep the momentum up, and a night off seems like a waste of time. My shirt’s been wet for hours now and it’s getting dark. Someone’s ex lives here so we camp out and I’m finally relieved to jump into a pool. My god. It feels so good. I miss comfort. Our sentence is almost up leaving only a third of the tour. When we get home, comfort will be taken for granted again. No more tactics of espionage finding somewhere to use the restroom. I’ll miss it.
As I return from the pool, Vic, the best merch guy in the world, informs me he has found us a gig that night and that we have to go now. I was looking forward to barbeque, but that would have to wait. It was time to rock.
We showed up to a club somewhere in New Orleans, but away from the French Quarter. It looked pretty shady. So as we predicted no one was there, except for a band from West Virginia. So we tried to make friends with them and the staff at the bar, and Vic had 2 friends there, so it was time to rock. Except, the 8bits were playing first, and the second band insisted on keeping its slot. I would stand there watching my friends plod through their set for absolutely no one, doing so like the soldiers they are. The other band and staff really loved them. Of course they did. They are a honed, drunken machine. At there absolute worst, they will fucking take it out on the audience and blow you away…. but at their best, like tour has made them now …they can do no wrong. So they fucken destroy everyone, and everyone is licking their ass, stating the obvious: ‘you guys are great’…’nest time I’ll promote the show’….’aww, sorry man, GWAR's playing in town tonite..’ I love to see the faces of people when they are indifferent with us when we walk in, and after we play they are willing to snort your butthole. In the case of the next band, this was literally the case. We were out in the van when they started. I could here was bunch of starts and stops. I might like this music. I thought back to and hour earlier when I met them. They were responding nicely to my nice guy introduction. I introduced myself to everyone in the room except the girls. These girls were no doubt the girlfriends of these guys and I was Mr. Nice right now so…..Well it turns out that those girls two solid guitar-playing musicians and I’m just a life-long chauvinist. The second girl was playing one of those basses with no real body..What are they called? Steinberg or something. The music was wild enough and not completely inaccessible. So I watched. They were going for the crazy thing. The girls were half naked and soon I noticed the dudes were too. I wasn’t feeling too homophobic by their thongs and stuff, so I watched. The 2 girls were at the front of the stage now, and though we are faithful as old dogs, I watched. Pretty soon one of the dude pulls down his pants exposing himself to the audience and starts lighting his pubic hair on fire. Later on I would hear people in our party say that it smelled really bad. I was far enough away to not smell anything or anybody, so I continued to watch. Just when I decided that guy was the crazy one, the guy in an old dress comes to the front of the stage. I have to stop here. If I think about it too visually I will start gagging again.
O.k. I have a weak stomach about certain things. Rotten food growing and moving, I don’t care. Dead animals dead with maggots writhing, somebody pass the Tapatio. GET A BABY AND CHOP HIN IN HALF WITH A CHAINSAW, better him than me. But show me a shit, other than my own, being used out of context other than the norm,..I’ll freak out. I first discovered this about 10 years ago when my then band-mate Dave brought back what he referred to as shit tapes from NYC. I trotted along the low quality footage until this chick bites a poop like it was a candy bar. Even as I’m writing this, I must be very careful not to truly visualize. That was it. I was running out of the room gagging, with my eyes full of tears. Vowing never to go in that room again. They coaxed me for a moment and I almost threw up.The second time I came across my kryptonite was years later. Again on video, I was eagerly watch the GG allin documentary as was wiping shit all over himself and throwing it at the audience. WHOA! Gagging hard. Another scene, some chick is pissing in his mouth and he is barfing as he is drinking it. Fuck. That fucked me up for a long time. Watching. Still watching. I still had no idea that the guy in the dress lifted his skirt. But he did. He then grabbed a beer cup and proceeded to piss in it. Things would be happening for about four seconds before I would realize what was going on. Before I fucken knew it, this guy was drinking, I mean DRINKING a huge beer cup full of his OWN PISS!! Gulping it down. My mind tried to tell me that it was beer. No. Not beer. Apple Juice? No fucking apple juice in this dive. PISS. Holy Shit. I recoiled. I was trying to keep my composure. I was embarrassed but my face and neck began to contort . I tried to make my way to the door but the room was spinning. The sound man crossed my path and I tried my best to hide my grimace. He wore the opposite facce. All smiles from ear to ear. I’m sure he saw me, and I’m sure the fact that he seen me about to barf probably pleased him. I altered my path now heading straight for the door. I made outside with a mouthful of barf and puked on the sidewalk grass. Giving the history of this area, I’m sure that I’m not the first. I kinda paced around trying to calm myself. I don’t know if I can go back in there.
was a pretty long and shitty drive but we arrived at
around 9am. we called up an old and dear friend tina
(look back to the indiana/dayton info. it was her
moms house, cookie, that we were swimming at) we got
to her place and people settled on her friends floor
because her power was out.
the suits were smelling rancid so we headed out to the
laundry mat to try to wash out some of the nutsack
sweat. we didnt have a show scheduled for new orleans
so we bought a shitload of food to have a big restful
bbq. there were three pools and we took advantage of
two of them.
tina's power came back on and we all migrated back to
her place. somehow vic, our friend that is helping us
with merch and things, got hold of a voodoo priest in
new orleans that he knew. the voodoo guy mentioned a
few good clubs in new orleans and vic got cracking on
making calls.
sure enough, the hi-ho lounge said we could play. we
were glad but also kind of bummed cause we could have
used a day off. oh well, we are on tour afterall and
the point is getting your ass in front of people that
wouldn't normally know about what you do. we
marinated the chicken and threw it in the fridge. the
crew of tired bastards headed to the other side of
town and rolled into the hi-ho.
we got there and there wasnt really anyone there. we
asked what the deal was and it turned out that GWAR
was in town and people in new orleans are really into
them. hell, i remember seeing GWAR as a kid on
halloween in chicago, i saw them again for the hell of
it when we were visiting chicago. it did seem weird
though that the city was pretty cleared out because of
GWAR...
8-bit played first and back stage they met some crazy
folks from west virginia that were in the band slated
to play immediately afterward. 8-bit played and the
show wasnt so fun but the sound guy was really nice
and we weaseled a couple of free beers a piece. there
were few people there but they were pretty fun anyway.
the set was done and 8-bit cleared the stage.
cryptorchid chipmunk (which is a chipmunk with one
testicle) came on next. i'll leave this to joey to
describe cause i will spend 5 pages writing about
them. completely out of control.... (joey's entry below)
the mormons played last and finished out the night on
a positive note. the sound guy was having a great
time watching them and was really upbeat and positive
about everything. the few people in the crowd were
appreciative and nice. its a shame there wasn't more
people there but what can you do when you get a last
minute show?? all you can do is make the best of it
and the mormons did just that.
we all headed back to tinas and had a really late
night BBQ of chicken, hamburgers, hot links, and corn
on the cob. we made a couple of sides in tinas
kitchen and had a big old feast...
there was an after dinner parking lot smoke out and
wound down from a long stretch of driving and a
breakneck tour schedule. people made late night phone
calls to friends and loved ones before calling it a
night and crashing.
we all really wanted to go to the french quarter to
show the mormons around and get fucked up but we were
just too damn tired. when all is said and done we
will average a show a day covering over 10,000 miles.
you just dont have time to do all the touristy shit
you wanna do...
we crashed out and were ready for the first of 4 shows
total in texas. californias dreaded texas..
Joey wrote:
It rained more than I have ever seen. New Orleans was suffering the wrath of some hurricane’s outer rim. It’s a night off for us. I hate nights off. I like to keep the momentum up, and a night off seems like a waste of time. My shirt’s been wet for hours now and it’s getting dark. Someone’s ex lives here so we camp out and I’m finally relieved to jump into a pool. My god. It feels so good. I miss comfort. Our sentence is almost up leaving only a third of the tour. When we get home, comfort will be taken for granted again. No more tactics of espionage finding somewhere to use the restroom. I’ll miss it.
As I return from the pool, Vic, the best merch guy in the world, informs me he has found us a gig that night and that we have to go now. I was looking forward to barbeque, but that would have to wait. It was time to rock.
We showed up to a club somewhere in New Orleans, but away from the French Quarter. It looked pretty shady. So as we predicted no one was there, except for a band from West Virginia. So we tried to make friends with them and the staff at the bar, and Vic had 2 friends there, so it was time to rock. Except, the 8bits were playing first, and the second band insisted on keeping its slot. I would stand there watching my friends plod through their set for absolutely no one, doing so like the soldiers they are. The other band and staff really loved them. Of course they did. They are a honed, drunken machine. At there absolute worst, they will fucking take it out on the audience and blow you away…. but at their best, like tour has made them now …they can do no wrong. So they fucken destroy everyone, and everyone is licking their ass, stating the obvious: ‘you guys are great’…’nest time I’ll promote the show’….’aww, sorry man, GWAR's playing in town tonite..’ I love to see the faces of people when they are indifferent with us when we walk in, and after we play they are willing to snort your butthole. In the case of the next band, this was literally the case. We were out in the van when they started. I could here was bunch of starts and stops. I might like this music. I thought back to and hour earlier when I met them. They were responding nicely to my nice guy introduction. I introduced myself to everyone in the room except the girls. These girls were no doubt the girlfriends of these guys and I was Mr. Nice right now so…..Well it turns out that those girls two solid guitar-playing musicians and I’m just a life-long chauvinist. The second girl was playing one of those basses with no real body..What are they called? Steinberg or something. The music was wild enough and not completely inaccessible. So I watched. They were going for the crazy thing. The girls were half naked and soon I noticed the dudes were too. I wasn’t feeling too homophobic by their thongs and stuff, so I watched. The 2 girls were at the front of the stage now, and though we are faithful as old dogs, I watched. Pretty soon one of the dude pulls down his pants exposing himself to the audience and starts lighting his pubic hair on fire. Later on I would hear people in our party say that it smelled really bad. I was far enough away to not smell anything or anybody, so I continued to watch. Just when I decided that guy was the crazy one, the guy in an old dress comes to the front of the stage. I have to stop here. If I think about it too visually I will start gagging again.
O.k. I have a weak stomach about certain things. Rotten food growing and moving, I don’t care. Dead animals dead with maggots writhing, somebody pass the Tapatio. GET A BABY AND CHOP HIN IN HALF WITH A CHAINSAW, better him than me. But show me a shit, other than my own, being used out of context other than the norm,..I’ll freak out. I first discovered this about 10 years ago when my then band-mate Dave brought back what he referred to as shit tapes from NYC. I trotted along the low quality footage until this chick bites a poop like it was a candy bar. Even as I’m writing this, I must be very careful not to truly visualize. That was it. I was running out of the room gagging, with my eyes full of tears. Vowing never to go in that room again. They coaxed me for a moment and I almost threw up.The second time I came across my kryptonite was years later. Again on video, I was eagerly watch the GG allin documentary as was wiping shit all over himself and throwing it at the audience. WHOA! Gagging hard. Another scene, some chick is pissing in his mouth and he is barfing as he is drinking it. Fuck. That fucked me up for a long time. Watching. Still watching. I still had no idea that the guy in the dress lifted his skirt. But he did. He then grabbed a beer cup and proceeded to piss in it. Things would be happening for about four seconds before I would realize what was going on. Before I fucken knew it, this guy was drinking, I mean DRINKING a huge beer cup full of his OWN PISS!! Gulping it down. My mind tried to tell me that it was beer. No. Not beer. Apple Juice? No fucking apple juice in this dive. PISS. Holy Shit. I recoiled. I was trying to keep my composure. I was embarrassed but my face and neck began to contort . I tried to make my way to the door but the room was spinning. The sound man crossed my path and I tried my best to hide my grimace. He wore the opposite facce. All smiles from ear to ear. I’m sure he saw me, and I’m sure the fact that he seen me about to barf probably pleased him. I altered my path now heading straight for the door. I made outside with a mouthful of barf and puked on the sidewalk grass. Giving the history of this area, I’m sure that I’m not the first. I kinda paced around trying to calm myself. I don’t know if I can go back in there.
posted by The Mormons at 6:39 PM
1 Comments:
WOO HOO!! that's AWESOME. good or bad, i'm definitely all about leaving an impression. sorry it made you puke though... (shameless plug --> http://cchipmunk.com)
-with eternal affection
-andrew from CC
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