HOUSTON, TX 7/15/05
we said goodbyes to tina. what a saint putting up 9
smelly guys and one bratty girl in her and her friends
house. letting everyone shower, shave, and do
laundry. there is something to be said about having
14 year old friendships. shit, she knows we'd do the
same for her. i can already know there will be a
phone call to help her move in when she arrives in
northridge in a month or so...
we said said farewells and headed out through
louisiana. swampy, rainy, muggy louisiana. we wanted
to stop to take an airboat ride but we were broke and
pressed for time. we made the push past baton rouge
and into texas.
after a pretty long time we hit houston. we made our
way through town and got to the club called SUPER
HAPPY FUN LAND!!!
we got to the eccentric venue and were wowed with the
place. it looked like a barn but inside they had a
bar, an art gallery, and a theater-like venue in the
back. a package from LA was supposed to have arrived
but we checked with the owner and there was no such
luck. aw fuck...
we took off from the venue looking for cheap booze and
food. we are all flat ass broke and dont really have
money for food. somehow everyone manages to come up
with cash for booze, cigs, and drugs... i dont know??
we hit the grocery store and got some cheap ass
icehouse beer, a bottle of hard liquor, some fruit,
and then we hit the deli getting really expensive
meats and cheeses.
i know you are saying, 'wait a minute!!! you just
said you didnt have money for food! whats up with the
expensive meats and cheeses??'
bitch, i didn't say we were going to pay for it.
people broke into teams and weaved through the store
tucking expensive food items in anything they could to
hide it from the store employees. i couldnt jock the
beer and the big bag of fruit so i payed 18 dollars
total for everything including some bread for
sandwiches. by the time we got to the van we probably
had more than $100 worth of tasty food and
medications.
we headed back to the venue and had a small feast. we
talked with the owners of SUPER HAPPY FUN LAND!!! and
they were really nice. they even invited us all to
crash at the club straight away. we hit a liquor
store and they refused to serve spacey-k even though
he only had one beer. they said he was too fucked up
to buy a bottle of gin. its a sad state of affairs
when you are sober and cant get liquor. it was a good
sign that shaves and showering along with deodorant
would be a really good idea. le-frost bought
spacey-k's bottle and we rolled to the club.
we settled in and proceeded to get loaded. its an all
ages club so some really young kids started to file
in. they were all nice and were interested in music
but were completely lacking energy, drunkenness and
the desire to have fun. we fucked around and got
drunk because we are losers and thats all we are good
for. oh, and surprise surprise, we smoked cigarettes
and talked shit.
the mormons lead things off and they were talking shit
at the boring kids that were sitting their asses.
patrick stuck his asses in the faces of three girls
and stayed in that position for a couple of songs.
the kids were pretty boring but were courteous
nevertheless so what can you do?? they played a great
show and managed to have fun despite the uptight
crowd. thats all you can do in that situation.
8-bit was rustled up from their respective beverage
and took the stage next. it was already known that
the crowd shouldn't have left their houses so they
immediately went on the offensive calling the club
SUPER BORING DUMB LAND and SUPER STUPID BITCH LAND
over the mike. the robots played the set and forced
people to get off their asses and try to have fun.
they were glad to finish the set and got the fuck
outside.
we talked to one of the people owning the club about
the different signs they had posted. you could get a
fake mustache, a unibrow, and rosy cheeks painted on
your face for 50 cents. it turns out that bands have
free fake things painted on them and 8-bit couldn't
resist...
le-frost got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a hitler
mustache. robo-t got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a gotee.
spacey-k got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a mustache.
anti-log for a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a molestache.
distracted by life and tour, 8-bit kidnapped josh and
went to investigate a factory at the end of the road.
i guess they turn wire into some sort of fencing. it
looked crazy with spools of wire whizzing and a line
of spot welders tossing sparks. we couldnt help
ourselves.
we asked who the manager was and they lead us to
Nacho. he was the night shift supervisor of the wire
factory. we asked for a tour and he was cool enough
to let us. we all had fake facial hair, open
containers, and it was past midnight, but nacho
complied.
it was this weird world of serious wire welding. we
offered workers beer but they declined and nacho was
nice enough to explain everything to us (in spanish).
we thanked nacho for being so nice and we headed back
to SUPER HAPPY FUN LAND!!!
the final band that played was a very loose ska band.
none of us were aware that ska still existed but we
found out it does. the band was not any of our cups
of pee but the singer girl could really sing and had
mad talent. if she is smart enough to figure out that
she is beyond her band you will probably see her in
sprite commercials or something.
we were all pretty beat so some people went to sleep.
others went to an after hours club in the city.
Jimmy wrote:
Today I had quite a treat. I got to meet (and smell) Stinky McConaughey. Let me tell you my story. It was the morning of the 16th of July 2005. We had played the previous night at “Super Happy Fun land” in Austin, Texas. The show went well but the kids there decided to sit in the provided theater seats they have there which takes a lot of the fun away from us, but whatever. I guess they actually liked it because people bought our merchandise. Back to the story, I was in the van waiting to go pick up some food for everyone to fill their hungry bodies with when it happened. The door opened and an aura of smell filled the air. It was kind of like “Pigpen” from Charlie Brown, but it wasn’t cute like Pigpens dirt clouds. It was actually greenish fumes similar to that commercial where the guy says his wife calls him “Swampfoot”. It was pretty nasty. Anyway, Stinky was going to be our navigator to the food restaurant and to the local grocery store. I believe Stinky lived at the SHFL but I have no verification of that. I decided to not ask questions. Anyone who knows me knows that I have this little issue with germs and stuff so as soon as I got a whiff of Stinky, I got worried about our seat in the van that Stinky was about to sit on and everything else Stinky was about to touch. Luckily, I have a can of Lysol in the van. So while we were on the road, Vince text messaged me “foochie la”. That’s when I decided to take action and sprayed Lysol on the seat in front of me then preceded to spray it on Stinky and his seat. Now remember I’m behind Joey (who is driving) and Stinky was in the passenger seat. So I sprayed behind his seat and on him a little. I think he noticed because he touched his arm and smelled to see what that strange clean odor was. It actually might of puzzled the poor guy. I noticed a Jack In the Box and suggested to Joey that we stop there and order tacos for everyone, but he said the two tacos for a dollar “fucking sucked”. I replied “what? They fucking smell?” I don’t think Joey heard me, but I turned to Vince, who was to the right of me, and Claudia (of 8-Bit), who was sitting in the back. Both of them were doing their best to hide their laughter. I think they were laughing at the fact I sprayed Lysol on Stinky. I apologize, but it had to be done. I was quick to escape out of the van as soon as we stopped. I think I was in shock that Stinky had no shame in his smelliness. Needless to say, I sprayed down the chair after Stinky exited the van. As an added bonus, Stinky forgot his groceries (which consisted of root beer and milk) in our van. A regret I have about my experience with Stinky is that I did not get to take a picture of him. If I did, it probably would’ve came out blurry anyway like those Bigfoot pictures. Anyway, that is my short story of Smelly McConaughey, the man-thing who smelled so bad, yet had no shame. -jimmy hughes
smelly guys and one bratty girl in her and her friends
house. letting everyone shower, shave, and do
laundry. there is something to be said about having
14 year old friendships. shit, she knows we'd do the
same for her. i can already know there will be a
phone call to help her move in when she arrives in
northridge in a month or so...
we said said farewells and headed out through
louisiana. swampy, rainy, muggy louisiana. we wanted
to stop to take an airboat ride but we were broke and
pressed for time. we made the push past baton rouge
and into texas.
after a pretty long time we hit houston. we made our
way through town and got to the club called SUPER
HAPPY FUN LAND!!!
we got to the eccentric venue and were wowed with the
place. it looked like a barn but inside they had a
bar, an art gallery, and a theater-like venue in the
back. a package from LA was supposed to have arrived
but we checked with the owner and there was no such
luck. aw fuck...
we took off from the venue looking for cheap booze and
food. we are all flat ass broke and dont really have
money for food. somehow everyone manages to come up
with cash for booze, cigs, and drugs... i dont know??
we hit the grocery store and got some cheap ass
icehouse beer, a bottle of hard liquor, some fruit,
and then we hit the deli getting really expensive
meats and cheeses.
i know you are saying, 'wait a minute!!! you just
said you didnt have money for food! whats up with the
expensive meats and cheeses??'
bitch, i didn't say we were going to pay for it.
people broke into teams and weaved through the store
tucking expensive food items in anything they could to
hide it from the store employees. i couldnt jock the
beer and the big bag of fruit so i payed 18 dollars
total for everything including some bread for
sandwiches. by the time we got to the van we probably
had more than $100 worth of tasty food and
medications.
we headed back to the venue and had a small feast. we
talked with the owners of SUPER HAPPY FUN LAND!!! and
they were really nice. they even invited us all to
crash at the club straight away. we hit a liquor
store and they refused to serve spacey-k even though
he only had one beer. they said he was too fucked up
to buy a bottle of gin. its a sad state of affairs
when you are sober and cant get liquor. it was a good
sign that shaves and showering along with deodorant
would be a really good idea. le-frost bought
spacey-k's bottle and we rolled to the club.
we settled in and proceeded to get loaded. its an all
ages club so some really young kids started to file
in. they were all nice and were interested in music
but were completely lacking energy, drunkenness and
the desire to have fun. we fucked around and got
drunk because we are losers and thats all we are good
for. oh, and surprise surprise, we smoked cigarettes
and talked shit.
the mormons lead things off and they were talking shit
at the boring kids that were sitting their asses.
patrick stuck his asses in the faces of three girls
and stayed in that position for a couple of songs.
the kids were pretty boring but were courteous
nevertheless so what can you do?? they played a great
show and managed to have fun despite the uptight
crowd. thats all you can do in that situation.
8-bit was rustled up from their respective beverage
and took the stage next. it was already known that
the crowd shouldn't have left their houses so they
immediately went on the offensive calling the club
SUPER BORING DUMB LAND and SUPER STUPID BITCH LAND
over the mike. the robots played the set and forced
people to get off their asses and try to have fun.
they were glad to finish the set and got the fuck
outside.
we talked to one of the people owning the club about
the different signs they had posted. you could get a
fake mustache, a unibrow, and rosy cheeks painted on
your face for 50 cents. it turns out that bands have
free fake things painted on them and 8-bit couldn't
resist...
le-frost got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a hitler
mustache. robo-t got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a gotee.
spacey-k got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a mustache.
anti-log for a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a molestache.
distracted by life and tour, 8-bit kidnapped josh and
went to investigate a factory at the end of the road.
i guess they turn wire into some sort of fencing. it
looked crazy with spools of wire whizzing and a line
of spot welders tossing sparks. we couldnt help
ourselves.
we asked who the manager was and they lead us to
Nacho. he was the night shift supervisor of the wire
factory. we asked for a tour and he was cool enough
to let us. we all had fake facial hair, open
containers, and it was past midnight, but nacho
complied.
it was this weird world of serious wire welding. we
offered workers beer but they declined and nacho was
nice enough to explain everything to us (in spanish).
we thanked nacho for being so nice and we headed back
to SUPER HAPPY FUN LAND!!!
the final band that played was a very loose ska band.
none of us were aware that ska still existed but we
found out it does. the band was not any of our cups
of pee but the singer girl could really sing and had
mad talent. if she is smart enough to figure out that
she is beyond her band you will probably see her in
sprite commercials or something.
we were all pretty beat so some people went to sleep.
others went to an after hours club in the city.
Jimmy wrote:
Today I had quite a treat. I got to meet (and smell) Stinky McConaughey. Let me tell you my story. It was the morning of the 16th of July 2005. We had played the previous night at “Super Happy Fun land” in Austin, Texas. The show went well but the kids there decided to sit in the provided theater seats they have there which takes a lot of the fun away from us, but whatever. I guess they actually liked it because people bought our merchandise. Back to the story, I was in the van waiting to go pick up some food for everyone to fill their hungry bodies with when it happened. The door opened and an aura of smell filled the air. It was kind of like “Pigpen” from Charlie Brown, but it wasn’t cute like Pigpens dirt clouds. It was actually greenish fumes similar to that commercial where the guy says his wife calls him “Swampfoot”. It was pretty nasty. Anyway, Stinky was going to be our navigator to the food restaurant and to the local grocery store. I believe Stinky lived at the SHFL but I have no verification of that. I decided to not ask questions. Anyone who knows me knows that I have this little issue with germs and stuff so as soon as I got a whiff of Stinky, I got worried about our seat in the van that Stinky was about to sit on and everything else Stinky was about to touch. Luckily, I have a can of Lysol in the van. So while we were on the road, Vince text messaged me “foochie la”. That’s when I decided to take action and sprayed Lysol on the seat in front of me then preceded to spray it on Stinky and his seat. Now remember I’m behind Joey (who is driving) and Stinky was in the passenger seat. So I sprayed behind his seat and on him a little. I think he noticed because he touched his arm and smelled to see what that strange clean odor was. It actually might of puzzled the poor guy. I noticed a Jack In the Box and suggested to Joey that we stop there and order tacos for everyone, but he said the two tacos for a dollar “fucking sucked”. I replied “what? They fucking smell?” I don’t think Joey heard me, but I turned to Vince, who was to the right of me, and Claudia (of 8-Bit), who was sitting in the back. Both of them were doing their best to hide their laughter. I think they were laughing at the fact I sprayed Lysol on Stinky. I apologize, but it had to be done. I was quick to escape out of the van as soon as we stopped. I think I was in shock that Stinky had no shame in his smelliness. Needless to say, I sprayed down the chair after Stinky exited the van. As an added bonus, Stinky forgot his groceries (which consisted of root beer and milk) in our van. A regret I have about my experience with Stinky is that I did not get to take a picture of him. If I did, it probably would’ve came out blurry anyway like those Bigfoot pictures. Anyway, that is my short story of Smelly McConaughey, the man-thing who smelled so bad, yet had no shame. -jimmy hughes
posted by The Mormons at 7:07 PM
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