PHOENIX, AZ - 7/22/05

Phoenix moon, originally uploaded by mike jones 3000.

we got to our cousin dans house and were exhausted. most everyone crashed immediately but anti-log hopped in the pool with dan and had a great morning swim. it was 104 degrees at 10 am an the pool was like bath water. relaxing and well needed.

everyone crashed out except for vince. his girl rachel is a doll and she drove all the way from LA with her friend dominika just to see her man one day early. man, thats so nice of her....

we eventually woke up on various couches and carpet heaven well refreshed and feeling good. its the last show of tour and we were mustering up energy to play one last show. spacey-k was nice enough to buy everyone lunch and we had a group chow-down.

the cousins caught up on things and updated each other with various tales of drunkenness and debauchery. the last time le-frost saw dan was the infamous new years 2000 desert drug-a-thon. i wont go into too much detail but it involved, E, coke, weed, liquor, beer, fire, firearms, a person lit on fire, and cousin dan wandering 2 miles through the desert out of his mind and sleeping face down at the base of a mountain. we all had some really good laughs.

dans friend chris showed up and we all shot the shit while people were taking showers pretending they weren't masturbating in the bathrooms.

we got some beer and headed into phoenix proper to play the final show. it was raining but it felt great cause it was hot as a bitch. we found out that its ok cause phoenix has a dry rain.....

drinking, driving, singing along to bad songs on the radio. when we pulled up to the club it was packed with cars. no one ever heard of angelos but there were plenty of people there... we parked the shuttle craft and saw corey in the parking lot. we met corey on the last tour in phoenix and he took us to a party. it was really good to see him cause he's cool as hell.

we checked the place out and we found our zombies and pirates homie jackson. he was the person that organized the show and it was great to see him. he just finished a tour with a different band and now was in phoenix ready to play. we hung out and shot the shit and started in with the hard drinking.

The Orphan Line lead things off and were really good. anti-log had the same shirt on as one of the guys in the band so they talked a bit and hit the bar. the bar was leaking water right in front of the bands so they had buckets set up to catch the rain. the band wasnt fazed and the played a hell of a show.

The Orphan Line @ Angelo's in Phoenix, originally uploaded by mike jones 3000.

Dear Boss, the band jackson played in was up next. they played a good mix of tom waits-y kinda music with jazzy and punk interjections. jackson and his partner switched off on vocal detail and did a great job. it makes a big difference when you see a band thats not only good but that you can tell they are having fun while doing it. thats one more reason we love the mormons so much.

Dear Boss, originally uploaded by mike jones 3000.

8-bitches were up next and they werent about to be confined by buckets of rainwater and tables so we got rid of all that shit. we tore into the set and were climbing on top of people. one of the robots even bit the girl that books the club on her foot. it was slip and slide fun and we put whatever energy we had left in our weary bodies into having fun and playing a good show. the crowd was fun and responsive and it was a great ending show to tour.

8-bit, originally uploaded by mike jones 3000.

the mormons came up next as the final band of the final show of a month long roller coaster ride. they reached deep down and threw everything they had onto the table. a great, aggressive, high-energy set to close things out. people were dancing and slipping and sliding all over the place. vince made a special shout-out to everyone that survived the tour. he gave a short speech that summed up what everyone was thinking but not saying about the overall result of the breakneck tour. there were wounded screams from the survivors of the tour and they launched into the final song of tour. they knocked it out of the park to the appreciation of the crowd. it was a triumphant ending to this wild ass ride.

The Mormons, originally uploaded by mike jones 3000.

everyone hit the bar and hit it hard. the place was called angelos and we noticed the greek flag behind the bar. we asked the nice older lady behind the bar if she was greek and sho-nuff. the booker girl that got bit is also originally from chicago and is greek. there was much love and the lady (affectionately named Mama) got the ro-bros tanked..

The guys with Mama, originally uploaded by mike jones 3000.

vince wound up taking off with his girl. we gave big ass hugs and told him we'd see him tomorrow. jimmy, joey, patrick, and vic took off straight from the show to get home and sleep. many hugs and secret handshakes were distributed liberally.

the 8-bitches stole josh and had to drag cousin dan and chris away from kicking peoples asses at pool. we invited several people to dans for a drunken final pool party and we blasted to a liquor store. there were a total of 8 people rolling drunk as hell back to mesa.

we got back and were doing rock star drags off whiskey bottles. at one point, both of the ro-bros jumped out of the pool to vomit in the rocks. super-amazing le-frost was diving off of anti-logs shoulders like a circus performer. she also tackled spacey-k and the sound guy from the club into the pool fully clothed. there was a cell phone casualty and soaked i-deez but it was really fucking funny.

pool party, originally uploaded by mike jones 3000.

we swam till sunrise and skated off into a super drunk slumber.

we somehow survived tour!!!! jesus christ. we gotta do this all over again in september and we have a show on sunday.. we are sprinting toward rehab.

Off into the sunset., originally uploaded by mike jones 3000.

EL PASO, TX - 7/21/05

New Mexico, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we woke up and gathered our things. a couple people were able to take showers and organize some shit. when we were gathering things robo-t asked anti-log what the fuck was on the back of his leg. anti-log thought he meant something was stuck to his leg and took a look to find the biggest bruise that any of us had ever seen. the bruise started about the middle of his thigh and went down to his calf. there were bumps were you could physically see torn meat under the skin. needless to say, robo-t apologized for calling anti-log a pussy for the several previous days.

Anti-log's fucked up leg., originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we said goodbye to deannette and headed back downtown to NYPD for free pizza!!! the food was great and the girl carrie was the coolest. if you are ever in Albaquerque, go to NPYD!! you can get two big ass slices and a beer for $6!! tell carrie that the mormons and 8-bit sent you...

The gang at NYPD Pizza., originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we thanked carrie and we got some coffee next door to get on the road. we had a long hot drive ahead of us...

the 8-bit van had a small head start on the mormons van and we were both blazing through the blistering heat. we drove for several hours and the mormons could see the 8-bit shuttle craft on the horizon so they punched it and got things together to throw out the window at the robots. with about 50 feet to go before reaching the 8-bitches, the back right tire of the 8-bit van blew out like a motherfucker.

Tire, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

Fixing the tire, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

the mormons saw what happened and quickly slowed and pulled over to help the 8-bitches. man, its a good thing because the drunk ass robots didnt have a jack or tire-iron in their van. again we were blessed because the mormons van had everything needed to change the tire.

there were a bunch of gourds where the van was stopped and you may as well try and have some fun in anything you are doing. even if its changing a tire in 100 degree weather. we got a baseball bat out of the van and played a little gourd baseball on the side of the freeway.

joey pitched a gourd and anti-log hit it right back at him. luckily the gourd exploded on impact and joey was able to dodge the shrapnel.

gourd baseball, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we changed the tire and were able to take a picture of a few tour homies standing in the middle of the freeway.

I 25, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we didnt really know the shape of the spare because we just got the shuttle craft. the flat happened somewhere near a town called elephant butte and another town called truth or consequences. fuck it, lets go...

we drove for about half an hour and everything was going fine and then bam... another loud ass sound coming from the tire we just changed. both vans pulled over again and we inspected the damage. it was weird as hell cause the tire didn't pop, all of the tread just ripped off of it. we were only a mile away from the next exit so we drove slowly and hit some tiny little town.

it was now 6pm and there wasnt a single tire store open. we were fucked!!! we stopped at a gas station and asked around for any alternatives. they told us we'd have to stay the night in the shitty town and get a tire in the morning. we had a show in el paso in a few hours so we started exercising our options. one of them was to take off the mormons spare and try to put it on the 8-bit van and hope that it had the right lug dimensions.

as josh was trying to take off the mormons spare, robo-t started talking to some redneck guy with was spitting chew all over the place. robo-t told him about the problem and the guy said we were fucked in town but there was a guy 6 miles away that sells used tires out of his house??? fuck it, might as well try..

we drove the 6 miles through the new mexico desert on a tire that was held together by a prayer. the guy pulled into his trailer and pointed across the street to four ranchero mexican guys in a driveway. we parked and walked up to him and none of them spoke a word of english. thank god we live in southern california and are forced to speak some watered down version of spanish every day.

we got down to brass tax. he had a tire that would work and he could have charged us any amount of money. we were expecting to take it in the ass without lube and pay something crazy like $200 for a used tire.

cuanto?? cuanto??? cuanto dinero?? fuck, i dont know... the guy wouldnt answer and proceeded to jack up the van and put the tire on. what could we do? worst case scenario would be to jump in the van and take off if he was unreasonable. he had everything set and then he said a price that blew us away. 35 bucks. the guy had us, we were fucked, and yet he didn't gouge us and was really nice about everything. there are really good people in the US and we were so relieved to have a tire and to be able to get out of that town. whoever that guy was, man, you dont know how much you helped us.

Tire shop, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we met back up with the mormons and hauled ass to el paso. the ro-bros have a 14 year old niece that was staying in el paso on a fluke and she called to let us know that she wanted to go to the show. the club is 18+ but i told her we'd do whatever we had to do to get her in.

we finally got to the club, the T lounge, and checked in. i told the door guy about our niece and he was really cool about everything. he said as long as we kept an eye on her and made sure she wasnt drinking then it would be fine. yeah!!!!

we went on a liquor run and our niece casey arrived at the club. the girl is an absolute sweetheart. we have been eating really shitty food on this trip and she felt bad for us. she made spaghetti and meatballs for everyone in both bands and even brought plates and forks!!! you cant get most girls in LA to not drink the last beer you saved from the night before. and cook??? shit. you cant get an LA girl to change a roll of toilet paper... at least the ones we know...... casey rules!!! if she weren't 14 years old and related i'd marry that girl.

casey picked out the entire set-list for the show and she forced us to play some songs we haven't played in a long ass time. 8-bit was up second so we made the list and proceeded to get really drunk. we felt bad cause we wanted to check out the first guy that was playing. it was his first show and he did electronic music so we wanted to support but instead we hung out with our niece around the corner drinking and talking. and NO mike and mary, casey wasn't drinking, we were.

8-bit rolled into the club and there were maybe 10 people there. there were two really cool guys there and we were shooting the shit and talking music for a while. i was too drunk to remember their names but here is a picture of them. hopefully they will read this and fill in the blanks in the comments area. hands down the coolest people we met in el paso.

8-bit started to play and and they werent impressed with the small turn out. there was one girl there in a white get-up with a really short skirt. she looked like she didnt want to be there cause she kept scribbling things down in a notepad. we figured we may as well have fun if the crowd was just going to sit there. during i-deez, spacey-k says, 'slappin bitches on the ass', and anti-log walked up and slapped her hard on the backside.

robots were getting off the stage and grinding on that girl. it was funny cause the robots were all focusing on that girl and climbing on her. one robot took her purse and dumped it out on the stage. it was this weird show that was completely interactive with one person in the crowd. i think it all stemmed from extreme sexual frustration. we are like sailors that have been out to sea for 6 months. we start hallucinating mermaids and wind up wanting to sleep with dolphins.

8-bit @ The T Lounge, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

some guys in the back bought a round of beers while the robots were playing and it was very much appreciated. maybe they wanted us to grind on them too???

we said goodbye to our niece and felt like jerks for our behavior that she witnessed. she has a better comprehension of things then most 'adults' we know so im sure she wont be scarred or affected in any way by the show. did i mention she rules for coming to see us in el paso???

Crystal behind the bar, and Tony @ The T Lounge, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

the mormons went up next and they were talking shit about the people in the crowd. one of the guys from the back bucked up and bought the mormons a round of drinks too. vince was capping on white people in the crowd and the people were joking back with him. they managed to have a fun and good show regardless of the minimal turn out. the light is at the end of the tunnel. only a show in phoenix and we get to go home!!!

The Mormons @ The T Lounge, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we all went to the bar and got loaded. we talked to the blond girl in the short white dress and we asked what the hell she was writing. she said she was doing a review on the show. by sheer turn out we figured we would probably get a shitty review so we went on the offensive. she can write whatever she wants to but we one-uped her. check this out.

uh, how about robo-t grabbing her ass??

how about an upskirt picture??

Upskirt, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

not good enough? how about another upskirt picture???

Upskirt 2, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

if she writes a positive review of the show, sorry about all of this. if its negative, now it will seem like she is taking revenge on us for these pictures.. its a win/win, see??? it does suck because she was really nice and she was genuinely interested in our music. oh well, we are assholes. no hard feelings??

the bartender bought us shots and invited us to a goth club. we passed on the club but slurped down the shots. we were heading to phoenix directly because the ro-bros cousin lives there and said we could all crash and go swimming. plus it was going to be hot as a bitch in the daytime so we figured it would be a more palatable drive during the cooler evening.

driving driving driving.

one funny driving story is that we stopped at a rest area and somehow josh lost his glasses. he realized they were gone about a mile from the rest stop and he pulled the van over. the exits are few and far between in the desert so he decided he was just going to run back to the rest stop, get his glasses, and run back to the van.

he took off through the night and was almost out of sight then he turned around and ran back faster than when he left. he was about a 1/3rd of a mile down the road and some animal, pretty positive a coyote, came running after him. he got back to the van a bit winded and totally freaked out.

he didnt want to get attacked by coyotes or wolves so he drove in reverse the mile back to the rest stop and amazingly found his glasses in tact in the main roadway of the rest area. goddamn we are blessed....

we listed to a couple of hours of dostoevsky's notes from underground on CD. we were having fits of delirious laughter. its amazing how observant and clear that guy was. he approached literature somewhere between how a philosopher would prove an axiom and a guy talking shit about people at bar. we were out of our minds and pushed on to phoenix.

ALBUQUERQUE, NM 7/19-20/05

we got up and talked a bit with our gracious host from OK. it was weird to play a show for 30 other musicians with a couple people there to actually see the show. he gave us tips on different clubs to play if we roll back through oklahoma city.

we had to blast out to make it to the next show in new mexico so we said goodbyes and hit the road. it was a pretty hot and not so exciting drive to albaquerque but we listened to some mike jones remixes that rich kicked us down with in austin and we had a good time rolling through.

we got to town and found the club pretty easily. the ro-bros remembered both clubs from when they were driving through to their west virginia for a funeral in august. the club we were slated to play is called burts tiki lounge. we loaded in and headed over to a pizza place called NYPD a couple of blocks away. the robots ate pizza and wandered around the city a bit.

we got back to the club and got to drinking. the bartender/booker was a cool girl and she set us up with whiskey shots and import beer. we stretched out and asked whatever stupid questions we might have had. she was polite and dealt with our relative stupidity with tact.

Atomic Cantina & Burt's Tiki Lounge, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

there was no show scheduled the following evening so josh walked next door to the atomic cantina and rapped with the bartender. the bartender called the booker and josh lined up a show the next night right next door to burts. we've had really good luck with filling in holes and managing to play a schedule that would make most bands fall apart. its the mantra, 'when out on tour, play play play'. we can rest when we're dead (6 months from now).

the 8-bitches went first and talked a lot of shit at the crowd.cause they were primarily parking their asses. some people finally got up and people came in from off the street after seeing some weirdo chrome people rapping and talking shit. little by little the crowd was won over and a guy was nice enough to buy everyone shots during the set. there is no better way to win over a robot (aside from back rubs and hot lovin) than by buying them drinks. the robots felt good about new mexico and finished the set on an up note.

8-bit @ Burt's Tiki Lounge, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

the mormons went up next and people were into them immediately. patrick wandered the crowd during the set with a garbage can collecting empty bottles and drinks. one guy even tucked a dollar into his elbow pad as a tip for his full service rock efforts. the crowd was nice enough and they bought the mormons a round of drinks while they were playing. now, this is something for LA people to make a point of paying attention to. when you are sweating your ass off playing music for people, its nice when people see the band members as fellow humans with concerns of dehydration....

The Mormons @ Burt's Tiki Lounge, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

after the set the mormons went outside and there were two drunk girls and one drunk guy asking them about the mormon religion and being generally shitty to them. joey jokingly told one of the girls that he was going to punch her in the face and the girl flipped out on them. she was swearing and acting like she was going to fight.

they eventually crossed the street and the guy started acting tough and talking shit. vince told him to come back across the street and say something. his loud and drunk girl friends were screaming shit too. it seemed like the guy was going to cross the street to go fight but he didnt realize that anti-log was right behind him pretending to be an interested bystander. things could have gotten really ugly.

turns out the guy didnt want any part of any of it but the drunk girls crossed the street as if to fight. what the fuck??? sometimes alcohol can bring out the worst in people and it was their night for the spinning bottle to stop at them. they yelled and huffed but wound up eventually shutting up and going to their car. the 'tough' guy yelled something out of his window as they peeled out past the club. oooohhhhh..

the final band was a local band called old bean. it was a four piece group that had a mix of rock songs and what could be described as crazy clown music. there were other local musicians in attendance that were nice enough to throw cups of beer in their faces and one punch. it was someones birthday and there were some wildly drunk people there.

Old Bean @ Burt's Tiki Lounge, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

the club didnt charge a cover but still paid the bands.. there is something seriously wrong with the clubs in LA. we aren't trying to be bitches or complainers but the music scene in LA is full of shit. bands SHOULD get drinks and bands SHOULD get some pay. fucking gas money at least... we are going to have a talk with John T when we get back......

willie, one of the guitar players/singers of old bean was nice enough to let everyone crash at his house. he just moved in and most of his stuff was in boxes but he had a full blown painting studio set up. it was nice to have a place to sleep and shower. it was also cool cause there was a mental health facility across the street so we got to howl and throw pebbles at the windows to stir up the crazies.

willie wound up sleeping at his girlfriends house so we had the house to ourselves. there was a party going on next door but we were too wiped to go crash it. instead we watched Teen Wolf Too and shot the shit until we went to sleep.


albaquirky day 2

we woke up in willies house and the mormons took off to go out for food. the 8-bitches eventually woke up and thanked willie for his hospitality. what a nice ass guy!!!

we were out of clean clothes so we went and did some laundry and had some greek food. we headed to a coffee shop and caught up on some email bullshit. we found out about some pretty rad offers that are coming through but i dont want to get into details cause i dont wanna jinx shit. if 1/10 of the things we hear came true we wouldn't have to suck dicks to pay rent when we get back. anyway, its some potentially really cool shit and if we get it, i'll let you know about it.

a friend of willies told us he worked at a hotel bar and we could all drink for free. you cant beat that so we headed to the hotel. we got there and it was like the guy didnt remember us from the pervious night. there was an awkward silence and we just said fuck it and left and went to a liquor store.

spacey-k is a fucking trip. he's been feeling run down so he was looking at those naked fruit drinks to look for some relief from over three weeks of straight hard drinking. he saw how much they cost and he said fuck it and bought gin instead. none of us can lie to or fool each other but occasionally we temporarily fool ourselves.

Vic taking a nap., originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we got to the atomic cantina and their logo is pretty much the same as all of out tattoos. we came in and got drinks and listened to some funny songs on the jukie. we rounded out stories and shot some pool while we were waiting for people to get into the club. eventually people came inside so the 8-bitters got dressed on the street and filed in.

the atomic is pretty cool but it kinda sucks in that the room bands play in is kinda separated from the bar area. people didn't really care about seeing drunk robots so they parked their asses at the bar. we talked A LOT of shit at the crowd and then we went on the offensive.

the only way to take a leak in that bar is by crossing the room that the bands play in. there were a few people checking out the show but everyone that went to the bathroom got assaulted. we were jumping on and grinding on anyone that went by. one girl was real cool about it and she danced with the robots for a bit. she even went and bought a beer for her robot dancing partner...

the mormons came up next and more people filed into the room. who can touch patrick as far as a singer that you can't take your eyes off of?? the only other singer i've ever seen that was remotely similar in sheer magnetism would be john miner?? why isn't john in a band???? anyway, i digress. the mormons played a great show and the crowd was hypnotized by patrick. there were hoots and hollars and the show went well.

there was a third band but we were preoccupied by trying to find a place to crash for the night. there were a couple of offers and finally a really cool girl named deannette. with that being secured, we were able to get fucking trashed....

we ran into the girl that was dancing with us and she was really cool. we invited her to deannettes house but she couldnt go cause she had to be up early. i told her to call in sick but she said she couldnt because she was the owner. turns out she owns NYPD pizza and invited us all to come over for free pizza the next day before we left town. goddamn we have good fortune meeting awesome people!!!!

we rolled out of the club and headed to d's for some more heavy drinking. she poured tequila shots and handed out otter pops. le-frost got loaded and was a dancing machine. robo-t started busting skateboard tricks in the girls front room. she had a pitbull that bit anti-log twice but it was a puppy and no blood was drawn. anti-log was complaining about his leg hurtning again and robo-t told him to quit being a pussy. anti-log shut up and drank more liquor.

the people at the get together were nice and funny. deannette has really cool friends and the drinking kept going and going till people started passing out. eventually everyone spread out and crashed hard. it was another example of a night starting out shitty and ending up really fun.

Tour fuel., originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

OKLAHOMA CITY, OK 7/18/05

Robo-T Wrote:
we woke up in the morning hung over as all get-out.
adam gave up and called in sick to work to recover.
the robots got to say goodbye to those incredible
motherfuckers and were sad to leave austin. austin is
such a cool city!!! if you live on the east coast or
midwest, keep an eye out for those peabodys playing in
your town. be sure to give them love and take care of
them because they took care of us like family.. we
love those peabodys!!!!

we sadly hit the road. on our way to oklahoma city
(still in texas) we all stopped at the olive garden
and got all you can eat soup and muthafuckin salad,
which was nice after a steady diet of liquor and fast
food. when we stopped for gas i went to take a pee to
find a drawing of a black stick figure being hanged in
the bathroom. when i stepped out of the bathroom
there was a black guy waiting to use the facilities.
Thats some fucked up redneckery in Texas. A few miles
ahead was the "President George Bush Turnpike." go
figure...

I crashed out in the car for the boring ass ride and
awoke to find 5 bands rigs in front of the venue.. We
find out there are 7 bands playing that night.. yay!

Vans of bands, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

We met up with the guys from the band Valley Arena who
jumped on the show since their Oklahoma City show was
cancelled. Their drummer had a good point, "Even if
no one shows up there will be about 35 people at the
venue, just band members alone." Fuck it, lets get
booze.

Oklahoma city is like a fucking ghost town. The city
was deserted, there were hardly even any cars .
Anti-log suggested that maybe the city had been
evacuated and we didn't hear about it. It really
looked like it. You can see why old Timmothy Mcvey
chose Oklahoma city.. shit if we had some fertalizer
we could have gotten away with blowing up whatever the
hell we wanted to!

Anyway, after driving around and thinking about
stealing another fuel man sign from a gas station, we
found heaven. it's a food for less sized liquor
store!
hundreds of varieties of beer, liquor, and wine. but
get this, nothing is cold and the bitches don't sell
ice. Spacey-k chose Gin, Anti-log Amstel light, while
Le-frost and myself opted for $5 bottles of Merlot.
Then we's gots some ice down the road.

Valley Arena kicked off the show by playing a good set
while the other bands sat on their hands. it's kinda
funny seeing a bunch of bands watching other bands
because all they care about is their own group, ya
know? Ah well, we thought they were cool. hey we
might even get a kickball game together with them in
their hometown of long beach,,, LBC vs. HLP bitch!

The Valley Arena, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

After they played Spacey-K and I got extra bored and
decided to cash this bottle of codine cough syrup that
our friend Tina hooked me up with for my vicious cold.
taking it all at once should make the cold go away
faster right?? next thing you know we're rapping mike
jones all screwed and chopped laying in the grass. Be
on the look out for some new screwed and chopped 8-bit
tracks.

We missed the next two bands and WHAT? it's time to
play! we peeled our corpses off the ground and
started playing, the codine made jumped in the gang
and crunked sound better than ever. On the last song,
suck ma dick, the sound got really quiet. Joey gave
the tip earlier on to tour to keep the volume about
1/2 on the laptop on stage, that way if the music is
too quiet i can just bump it up real quick. i used
that trick and bumped it up all the way loud again
and finished the set to find out the cops were outside
with a noise complaint, oooops! The show continued
though..

8-bit, The Mormons, & The Stiletto Formal chillin at The Showroom, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

Next up, The Mormons! who played a great tight set as
usual. Patrick found a big chair to crawl under and
invited people to sit on it. an asian girl finally
accepted, which is lucky for him considering the girth
of the corn fed white women roaming the plains of the
midwest. it'll be nice to see you california women
again ;1.

So yeah we leave to drink again and catch the last
group, The Stiletto Formal from Phoenix. They had a
good set and were nice people as well. Kinda mathy
with girls holding down the cello and
keyboards/percussion.

The Stiletto Formal rockin in Oklahoma, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

We were tore up and it was time to sleep. Joey hooked
up a place to stay with Brad from the band Streets of
Thieves, which I felt kinda bad for missing his band
and all. Anti-log was already passed out drunk in the
van. I was the designated crunk driver of the night.
we get to brads where i thrown up in the front yard.
many were due for a shower which hit the spot.
THANKS BRAD!

AUSTIN, TX 7/16-17/05

Austin is awesome!!!!

Austin, TX, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we woke up in super happy fun land and were shaken out
of bed by the owners scrambling to clean up because a
telemundo truck was out front ready to film?? they
were having a community forum regarding the minute men
that were volunteering their time to 'protect' the
mexico border. the camera crew were roaming around
getting footage of everything. i was wondering why
everyone was looking at me with strange expressions,
then joey was nice enough to tell me that i still had
a drawn on molest-ache, a uni-brow, and rosy cheeks.

we were waiting around frantically for an overnight
package that george sent us from LA. he sent the
fucked up spare helmet we had so that we would roll
into austin with complete robo-gear. the fucking
thing was supposed to be delivered the day before...

i called george and got the tracking number and
searched to find that they supposedly already
attempted to deliver it and had left a note on the
front door. neither of these things were true. i
called the local post office and lied that i was going
to get fired from my job (of unemployment??) if i
didnt get that package to austin tonight.

the guy battled with me for a while then finally got
off his ass and saw the package was sitting in the
next room. i got him to agree to send someone over
immediately and he did. the USPS is like pulling
teeth but once in a while you run into someone that
can actually be helpful and take initiative.

we blasted the fuck out to austin..

we made the drive through bush country and got to the
gem of texas. none of us are very big on texas.
houston was a pretty shitty city... lots of driving
and lots of nothing. then you get to austin and its
fucking amazing. brimming with creative and excited
people who are just out to get drunk and have fun
right now!!! too many people plan out having fun at
some future date for some occasion... lame lame
lame... austinites, austinians, whatever the hell
they are called are out to have a crazy night when
they leave their houses.

so its out first ever show in texas and we are playing
a saturday night at Emo's?? holy shit!!! our austin
homies from those peabodys set it up and they arrived
to the club. it was hugs all around and we knew fun
shit was going to go down. those guys are not only a
great band but they are the fucking nicest and coolest
guys.

Vic rockin the merch., originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we first played with those peabodys at the silverlake
lounge (which we are no longer allowed to play at) and
the first words we ever exchanged were the 8-bitters
offering them pot brownies. that night we also played
with the penfifteen club and it was the first time
junko (the greatest person in japan) saw the robots
play.

those peabodys also played mr. t's at what we thought
was going to be our final show ever cause we were
disgusted with the election results. (we had plans to
move to holland) two days later those peabodys played
at all tomorrows parties in long beach on the queen
mary.

enough enough. get back to the show and emo's...

we got to see our homette from redlands, our swisha
house homie rich, mike (the DJ, not the peabody
drummer), and our fellow previous travel companion
homie INSERT THAT GUYS NAME

the mormons kicked things off and people were
trickling in. there were a group of guys there that
came specifically to see the mormons and they were
loving it!!! josh broke a string during the set and
didnt have a spare. the mormons are hustlers and they
dont slow down for anything so they kept going.

josh switched out guitars but didnt have a strap for
it so he said fuck it and played strapless. anti-log
tracked down a string and replaced the broken one and
josh swapped back out between songs.

they played a great set and the emo's sound system
really did well for them. the sound guy really did a
good job with the mormons sound and it was a great
show.

The Mormons @ Emo's, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

the next band to play was tia carerra. they are kind
of an improv jam band with what seemed like some
structured parts. a no vocal 3 piece. now the term
'jam band' for us could easily be changed to 'too lazy
to write a fucking song' but it wasnt the case at all
with tia carerra. they had an edge to their songs and
somehow weirdly reminded me of 400 Blows. both bands
have a large focus on the drummer keeping things tight
and interesting. both bands are three piece groups.
if you traded 400 blows singer Skot for a bass player
and if the 400 blows guitar player had a wah pedal and
used it, you could have some really close comparisons.


maybe im reaching, i dont know. but if both of those
bands played together i would definitely be at the
show.

then it time for 8-bit to play. lots of people had
rolled into the club and the robots were drunk and
ready to go. they asked those peabodys to set up on
stage so they could rock it as soon as the robots were
done. shit, bitch, robots don't need no stage
anyhow....

the robots went to work and were bumping their way
through the crowd and working the ghetto-robo shit
they way they know how to. anti-log had hurt his leg
earlier on the tour and pulled something while doing
one of his david lee roth high kicks. midway through
the set he snapped the highest kick he's probably ever
pulled off and he felt a bunch of things tear behind
his knee. they finished out the set and were stoked
for the positive crowd response and for the set of
texas rock that those peabodys were about to bring.

8-bit @ Emo's in Austin, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

those peabodys took the stage and you could tell from
the first beat of the first song that they own emo's.
their sound was completely dialed in. you coulda
easily made a live album from the set they played. it
was great to see them play on their home turf and they
fucking pegged it.

so you all know, those peabodys are a three piece
band. clark plays bass, dances like a madman, and
sings on more than half of the songs. adam plays
guitar (he's also rumored to be austins best drummer),
sings on several songs, and pulls mean ass guitar
riffs that sound like classics the first time you hear
them. mike plays and teaches drums and is the fucking
nicest guy. when the ro-bros were wandering the
country for their robo-mamas funeral, mike put them up
for three days on their way back home. its such a
super bonus that their band kicks ass cause they are
the fucking coolest guys in texas, hands down.

Adam of Those Peabodys rockin out at Emo's, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

they played the best set of any band we've seen on
this tour and were in awe at how great they were live.
if you like hard southern rock with fat guitar lines,
look up those peabodys online and on myspace. you
definitely wont be disappointed.

Clark of Those Peabodys on stage at Emos, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

after the show we met a really nice guy named franklin
from a band called the murdocks. he invited all of
the mormons and the 8-bitters to crash at his house
and invited those peabodys and other homies over to
drink. his roomates, elisa, lauren, zane, andrew were
cool but i dont think they were to stoked on us. they
were all really nice and dealt with all of us anyway.
zane was really cool and partied down that night. one
of homettes brought a bottle of cazadores and we got
all fucked up.

This is Rich. , originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

everyone got to crash on the carpeted floor. im not a
huge fan of carpet as opposed to hard wood unless you
are talking about sleeping on it. carpet is like a
message with a happy ending compared to sleeping on
hard wood.

we survived our first night in austin and celebrated
with hallucinogens. anti-log was walking with a
pronounced lip and robo-t was nice enough to tell him
to stop being a pussy. anti-log shut the fuck up and
went to bed along with everyone else


Austin day 2

we had a day slated to be off today but robo-t hooked
up a last second show at the red eye fly. when the
kids of whidney high were in austin filming for that
johnny knoxville movie 'the ringer' they played at the
red eye fly and the booker remembered drinking with
robo-t. he slated us in to play after two other bands
that were already scheduled to play.

we hung out during the early part of the day at
franklins house and got to shower. again, i dont
think his roomates were too happy with 10 stinky fools
using their shower but they dealt with it anyway. the
girls were sisters and were really cute. franklin is
dating one of them.... good job franklin!!!

we had to scram because everyone at the house was
going to a female roller derby match. i guess there
is a big roller derby scene in austin and those girls
kick ass. we wanted to go but are broke as hell and
couldn't afford to buy tickets.

we headed out for ice cream because this awesome girl
named valerie said shed hook us up with free ice
cream!!! thats the second time on tour we had cute
girls donate ice cream to our gypsy cause. we had
badass ice cream and took pictures in their photo
booth. valerie fucking rules!!!

Ice Cream with Vallerie! Thanks!, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

mike from those peabodys drove by the ice cream shop
and lead us to adam's house. adam has a cool ass
house and we started getting the drinking going. a
bunch of people headed over and drinking and
conversation took off.

Chillin on the stoop @ Adams (Those Peabodys) in Austin, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

eventually we had to head over to the red eye to play.
austinites/austonians seem to have some beef with the
place but it was nice enough and they let us play with
no notice. they also hooked us up with free lonestar
beer so we were stoked.

we got to the club and realized that valley arena were
playing. we played with those guys a long time ago in
LA. they are a band out of long beach and are nice
guys. they played their set and we all talked after
they played. they mentioned coming to oklahoma city
with us the next day to jump on the show with us.
cool enough cause we jumped onto their show.. it was
set.

the guys that showed up the night before to see the
mormons showed up again at the red eye fly and rocked
out to the mormons set. the club was pretty dead
cause it was a sunday night but the mormons again
managed to play a great show. i am convinced that it
was the best joey has ever played. he played the
drums with a lot of aggression and was on through the
whole set.

those peabodys guys showed up to the club as 8-bit was
about to start. mike the DJ was spinning across the
street at the 710 and he asked if we would be
interested in playing there as soon as the set was
done at the red eye fly. but of course....

so the robots launched into their set but anti-logs
high kick was more of a foot sweep. he couldnt lift
his leg more than a foot off the ground. the show was
really fun and the tallest guy we've ever seen at a
show was really cool and having fun dancing and
interacting with the robots.

Anti-log @ The Red Eye Fly in Austin, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

the show ended and the robots invited everyone across
the street to the 710. the club cleared and everyone
made the trek. we got into the club and it was full
of tattooed and tough looking girls. it turns out
that we walked into the austin roller derby teams
afterparty!!! it was ON!!!

the robots quickly set up but only had one mike with
about a 3 foot chord. fuck it, lets go....

the robots jumped into a completely different set and
the roller girls were going crazy. it was hot as a
bitch so the robots started shedding clothes and the
roller derby girls started putting on helmets and
spinners. it was so fucking fun!!!

at one point, the captain of the roller derby team was
on anti-logs shoulders during his entire verse of a
song. it was crazy crazy fun and there is a shit load
of really good pictures.

Anti-log can't be stoped., originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

Dancy party!, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

Mike (Those Peabodys) dancing the night away, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

Rollerderby Girls afterparty @ 710 in Austin, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

Robo-T big pimpin, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

Adam chilling the Rollerderby Girls afterparty, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

after the bar closed, the derby girls invited to
robots and crew over to a pool party across town. we
looked for the mormons to give them the 411 but they
had already rolled to the guys house that came to see
them play. the robots kidnapped josh and headed to
party.

there is this big ass house with a big ass pool and
the robo-crew quickly jumped in the pool. there was a
gallon bottle of rum rolling and people were tipping
that bitch upside down taking monster hits off that
shit. none of the girls had bathing suits so they
started getting naked and jumping in the pool. since
the girls were naked, the guys felt bad so the guys
got naked too. there was a gang of nude people
running around including 8-bitters, peabodys, and the
really tall guy from the club.

people were weird about camera flashes but there were
a couple pics taken of the pool and naked people.

Pool Party in Austin, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

the party eventually wound down and the posse of
different musicians headed to taco cabana for some
late night eats. we all rolled back to adams house
and scrounged for any stray beers that were there.

there was lots of joking and lots of funny shit going
on but everyone eventually crashed out all over adams
house. completely fucking plastered...........

amazing times in austin!!!!

HOUSTON, TX 7/15/05

we said goodbyes to tina. what a saint putting up 9
smelly guys and one bratty girl in her and her friends
house. letting everyone shower, shave, and do
laundry. there is something to be said about having
14 year old friendships. shit, she knows we'd do the
same for her. i can already know there will be a
phone call to help her move in when she arrives in
northridge in a month or so...

we said said farewells and headed out through
louisiana. swampy, rainy, muggy louisiana. we wanted
to stop to take an airboat ride but we were broke and
pressed for time. we made the push past baton rouge
and into texas.

after a pretty long time we hit houston. we made our
way through town and got to the club called SUPER
HAPPY FUN LAND!!!

Super Happy Fun Land, originally uploaded by shitface1000.

we got to the eccentric venue and were wowed with the
place. it looked like a barn but inside they had a
bar, an art gallery, and a theater-like venue in the
back. a package from LA was supposed to have arrived
but we checked with the owner and there was no such
luck. aw fuck...

we took off from the venue looking for cheap booze and
food. we are all flat ass broke and dont really have
money for food. somehow everyone manages to come up
with cash for booze, cigs, and drugs... i dont know??

we hit the grocery store and got some cheap ass
icehouse beer, a bottle of hard liquor, some fruit,
and then we hit the deli getting really expensive
meats and cheeses.

i know you are saying, 'wait a minute!!! you just
said you didnt have money for food! whats up with the
expensive meats and cheeses??'

bitch, i didn't say we were going to pay for it.
people broke into teams and weaved through the store
tucking expensive food items in anything they could to
hide it from the store employees. i couldnt jock the
beer and the big bag of fruit so i payed 18 dollars
total for everything including some bread for
sandwiches. by the time we got to the van we probably
had more than $100 worth of tasty food and
medications.

we headed back to the venue and had a small feast. we
talked with the owners of SUPER HAPPY FUN LAND!!! and
they were really nice. they even invited us all to
crash at the club straight away. we hit a liquor
store and they refused to serve spacey-k even though
he only had one beer. they said he was too fucked up
to buy a bottle of gin. its a sad state of affairs
when you are sober and cant get liquor. it was a good
sign that shaves and showering along with deodorant
would be a really good idea. le-frost bought
spacey-k's bottle and we rolled to the club.

we settled in and proceeded to get loaded. its an all
ages club so some really young kids started to file
in. they were all nice and were interested in music
but were completely lacking energy, drunkenness and
the desire to have fun. we fucked around and got
drunk because we are losers and thats all we are good
for. oh, and surprise surprise, we smoked cigarettes
and talked shit.

the mormons lead things off and they were talking shit
at the boring kids that were sitting their asses.
patrick stuck his asses in the faces of three girls
and stayed in that position for a couple of songs.
the kids were pretty boring but were courteous
nevertheless so what can you do?? they played a great
show and managed to have fun despite the uptight
crowd. thats all you can do in that situation.

The Mormons @ Super Happy Fun Land, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

8-bit was rustled up from their respective beverage
and took the stage next. it was already known that
the crowd shouldn't have left their houses so they
immediately went on the offensive calling the club
SUPER BORING DUMB LAND and SUPER STUPID BITCH LAND
over the mike. the robots played the set and forced
people to get off their asses and try to have fun.
they were glad to finish the set and got the fuck
outside.

8 Bit @ Super Happy Fun Land, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

we talked to one of the people owning the club about
the different signs they had posted. you could get a
fake mustache, a unibrow, and rosy cheeks painted on
your face for 50 cents. it turns out that bands have
free fake things painted on them and 8-bit couldn't
resist...

le-frost got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a hitler
mustache. robo-t got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a gotee.
spacey-k got a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a mustache.
anti-log for a unibrow, rosy cheeks, and a molestache.

Super Happy Freak Out, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

distracted by life and tour, 8-bit kidnapped josh and
went to investigate a factory at the end of the road.
i guess they turn wire into some sort of fencing. it
looked crazy with spools of wire whizzing and a line
of spot welders tossing sparks. we couldnt help
ourselves.

we asked who the manager was and they lead us to
Nacho. he was the night shift supervisor of the wire
factory. we asked for a tour and he was cool enough
to let us. we all had fake facial hair, open
containers, and it was past midnight, but nacho
complied.

wire factory, originally uploaded by mike jones 2000.

it was this weird world of serious wire welding. we
offered workers beer but they declined and nacho was
nice enough to explain everything to us (in spanish).
we thanked nacho for being so nice and we headed back
to SUPER HAPPY FUN LAND!!!

the final band that played was a very loose ska band.
none of us were aware that ska still existed but we
found out it does. the band was not any of our cups
of pee but the singer girl could really sing and had
mad talent. if she is smart enough to figure out that
she is beyond her band you will probably see her in
sprite commercials or something.

we were all pretty beat so some people went to sleep.
others went to an after hours club in the city.

Jimmy wrote:
Today I had quite a treat. I got to meet (and smell) Stinky McConaughey. Let me tell you my story. It was the morning of the 16th of July 2005. We had played the previous night at “Super Happy Fun land” in Austin, Texas. The show went well but the kids there decided to sit in the provided theater seats they have there which takes a lot of the fun away from us, but whatever. I guess they actually liked it because people bought our merchandise. Back to the story, I was in the van waiting to go pick up some food for everyone to fill their hungry bodies with when it happened. The door opened and an aura of smell filled the air. It was kind of like “Pigpen” from Charlie Brown, but it wasn’t cute like Pigpens dirt clouds. It was actually greenish fumes similar to that commercial where the guy says his wife calls him “Swampfoot”. It was pretty nasty. Anyway, Stinky was going to be our navigator to the food restaurant and to the local grocery store. I believe Stinky lived at the SHFL but I have no verification of that. I decided to not ask questions. Anyone who knows me knows that I have this little issue with germs and stuff so as soon as I got a whiff of Stinky, I got worried about our seat in the van that Stinky was about to sit on and everything else Stinky was about to touch. Luckily, I have a can of Lysol in the van. So while we were on the road, Vince text messaged me “foochie la”. That’s when I decided to take action and sprayed Lysol on the seat in front of me then preceded to spray it on Stinky and his seat. Now remember I’m behind Joey (who is driving) and Stinky was in the passenger seat. So I sprayed behind his seat and on him a little. I think he noticed because he touched his arm and smelled to see what that strange clean odor was. It actually might of puzzled the poor guy. I noticed a Jack In the Box and suggested to Joey that we stop there and order tacos for everyone, but he said the two tacos for a dollar “fucking sucked”. I replied “what? They fucking smell?” I don’t think Joey heard me, but I turned to Vince, who was to the right of me, and Claudia (of 8-Bit), who was sitting in the back. Both of them were doing their best to hide their laughter. I think they were laughing at the fact I sprayed Lysol on Stinky. I apologize, but it had to be done. I was quick to escape out of the van as soon as we stopped. I think I was in shock that Stinky had no shame in his smelliness. Needless to say, I sprayed down the chair after Stinky exited the van. As an added bonus, Stinky forgot his groceries (which consisted of root beer and milk) in our van. A regret I have about my experience with Stinky is that I did not get to take a picture of him. If I did, it probably would’ve came out blurry anyway like those Bigfoot pictures. Anyway, that is my short story of Smelly McConaughey, the man-thing who smelled so bad, yet had no shame. -jimmy hughes